34. How to Make Parent-Teacher Conferences Successful

It's time for parent-teacher conferences - are you ready to communicate with your students' caregivers about what they need to be successful in the classroom? A parent-teacher conference is an opportunity for you to start a line of communication between home and school. 

Parents and caregivers need to hear from you to know how their child is progressing - but it's important that all parties feel safe (emotionally and physically) and respected. In this episode, we'll talk about how to make the best use of your time, keep the conference productive, and how to stay in control if things get heated. 

Click here to download your FREE Parent-Teacher Conference Snapshot that you can complete on each student to keep your conversations focused and productive! It also includes Quick Response Statements and ways to de-escalate and set boundaries during conferences so your interactions stay safe and respectful. 

Some other resources that I've created that will help you document and communicate student needs to parents are my Student Behavior Logs, Behavior Management Bundle, and Parent Communication Resources in my TeachersPayTeachers store.

Parent-teacher conferences don't need to push you closer to burnout - and neither does any aspect of teaching! Teachaholic: The 7-Day MindSET Shift to Conquer Burnout, Build Life-Changing Boundaries, and Reignite Your Love for Teaching, is a #1 Best Seller and a #1 Top Release on Amazon. Get your copy at www.erinsponaugle.com/book. 

If you want more guidance as you read Teachaholic, download the 20+ page Teachaholic Action Guide to begin your journey back from burnout here. You'll receive reflection questions, graphic organizers, and gui

Get your copy of Teachaholic: The 7-Day MindSET Shift to Conquer Burnout, Build Life-Changing Boundaries, and Reignite Your Love for Teaching at www.erinsponaugle.com/book.

You can download the Teachaholic Action Guide to begin your journey back from burnout here.

Download your FREE checklist, The Great 88: Rules, Routines, and Expectations to Go Over and Over, and feel confident establishing classroom management.

For more resources on classroom management, time management, and preserving mental well-being to avoid teacher burnout, visit www.erinsponaugle.com.

Find more upper elementary classroom resources by visiting Next Chapter Press on Teachers Pay Teachers.

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Transcript

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The picture isn't what it used to be. The good news is, you don't have to figure it out on your own. If you're looking for truth, inspiration, and tips for success in the classroom and beyond, you're in the right place. It's time to turn the page to the future of the profession. This is the next chapter for teachers podcast. I believe this is episode 34. We're moving right along here. So, once again, thank you for your support this fall. I appreciate all the comments, the reviews on the book, the feedback. If you haven't read it yet, Teach a Hollock is available now. It's a book on how to overcome teacher burnout, set boundaries, and find your passion for teaching again. If you are interested in the book, I will put the link in the show notes. But today we're gonna once again kind of veer off the teacher burnout path to a topic that many of you are probably getting ready to experience if you haven't done so already, and that is parent-teacher conferences. I know our school's parent-teacher conferences are this upcoming week. You might have some in the near future. So I thought this might be a very good thing, very relevant thing that we should probably discuss and talk about. And I've got something for you if you stick around to the end, that will help you with your conferences, whenever they may be. So parent-teacher conferences. You know, the the format of the conferences have maybe changed over the years, especially since the pandemic. Uh maybe yours are all online now, or maybe you just have one day where it's just solid conferences and people come in and you talk to parents. Uh, for me, in our district, we have one night where parents come in, they have about 10 minutes with the teacher or with whatever teacher they want to speak to, and it's like a revolving door for two hours. So, regardless of the format or the length of time you have for each conference, there's no doubt that meeting with parents or guardians without a child's progress can be a little stressful. And this time of the year when you might be feeling a little burnt out, disillusioned, overworked, overburdened, overwhelmed, feeling all the things, and then to add on top of that and meeting with parents, it can be very meltdown inducing. Maybe not for the kids, but maybe for you. So the purpose of comp of conferences is to get a conversation going because we need for parents to know what's going on in the classroom. We need them to be partners in helping their child be successful. And there are many ways that we can keep that flow of information going or keep those conversations going anymore with uh different apps, uh, with Schoology, if your school district uses something in like Schoology, uh email. We have so many ways now that we can be in continuous contact and let parents know what's going on. But there's nothing that quite beats having a face-to-face conversation because there are some people that can be keyboard warriors and can really come out or really appear to be in their words uh kind of aggressive or even hostile across the screen. But when you sit down and have a conversation together, it's a little bit different story. Now, sometimes it can go the other direction, and you meet each other in person, and it's also a little more confrontational. But it's really a chance to break down that barrier and to talk about what's going on with the students in your classroom, with their caregivers, so that they can be a partner in your in their child's education as well. So we see them all year long, we see them in a different light than their parents may see them in or their guardians may see them. And if I say parents during this episode, it can mean any caregiver grown up that is in charge of a child in your classroom. And often, I want to say this most of the time, I feel that the intentions are good, and parents genuinely do care about their children. They just may care about them or must have different priorities or things that are important to them that we as teachers may have. But I do feel that most parents, they want to see their child happy and they want to see their child successful. They just may have a different approach or a different perspective on how that's supposed to take place. So the number one thing that I care about with you with a parent-teacher conference is your safety, your emotional safety and your physical safety. But we need to make sure when we have conferences that it remains a safe environment. And I know that they may that may be the may not be the case if you have an issue or a child that you're dealing with where the issues are going to be very heated and there's a lot of big feelings going in to it. But I think the number one thing to keep in mind with the conversations and the interactions that take place when you meet face to face is that all parties feel safe. And I know there's a lot of stuff about student-led parent-teacher conferences. I would be very clear and upfront. I have never taken part in those. I really don't feel that I would be taking part in that as an art teacher now because I don't have a homeroom. But sometimes it might be best to just have an adult conversation with a parent and the teacher about what's going on with their child. And are there times when the kids should be a part of that conversation? Yeah. But sometimes adults just need to talk one-on-one as adults. And you can really get to the heart of the matter, or you can see as an adult yourself where some of the issues might be stemming from. I know we've all kind of thought before, I've had a parent walk in and we see, we can see how that child belongs to them, which is okay. I'm sure that that's what teachers thought about me when they met my parents growing up when that for conferences. Anyway, moving on from that topic. Um so one thing that used to bother me when I was a home room teacher, and I'd we'd have conferences, you would get somebody who was coming in, and you'd be like, oh my goodness, why are they coming? What's wrong? What did I do wrong? That kid doesn't cause any issues in here. And sometimes the parents just want to meet you. That's why I said sometimes this is just about having a conversation. And so they just want to make a connection and make contact with the person who spends all day with their kid. They may hear really good things about you. They just want to make sure that they have a little bit of an idea. They can put a face with the, excuse me, they can put a face with what your their child is talking about when they come home in the evening. So it's important to not jump to conclusions when you see that someone's coming in or wants to meet with you and you have no complaints over that one. So, what are we going to do when we have these conferences? Well, I think it's important to have a game plan because, like for me, it's 10 minutes at a time for each student. And that can be a really good thing because honestly, you can't resolve every issue with a child in one sitting, in one night, in one 10 minute span. So it's a good way to start a conversation and touch base, but it's important to have a game plan for how that conversation is going to go down. Something that I've got for you today. It's gonna the link's gonna be in the show notes. It is a parent-teacher conference snapshot. And you can complete this for every child that comes in for conferences. It's very simple. Or you could just do it for select students that you really feel like you need to hammer out some important points that you need to go over when their parents come in. But it's just a simple sheet where you can put the students' uh name, their you know, meaning time, their strengths, their weaknesses. There's a little space for if you need to jot down uh anything about their grades or tests, which we're gonna get to into in a minute, uh their work habits, behaviors, it's just a place to check mark or to write some brief notes on what you want to talk about or go over when that parent comes in. So I I think it's important when you are going to have conversations that you direct or you are in control to some extent of what's going to get addressed. Because you know, you there might be things that you've noticed that you feel need to be expressed, and you don't want to get sidetracked or you don't want to get to the end of the conversation and realize that you never brought that up. So, what do you bring besides this parent-teacher conference snapshot that I'm gonna give you in the show notes? Anything that is documentation. I will also put some links in the show notes to some uh behavior logs and other forums that I've created that you could go download for maybe not this conference, but for future reference. Anything that you have used to document student behavior or progress, um progress monitoring, any emails that maybe you feel you need to uh bring back to reference for that your parent has uh contacted you with. Come prepared, come with the come with the good, so to speak, so that you can reference things or refer to things and you're not sitting there mentally guessing on what you need to uh address. Now, this is a trick that you might want to imply, or apply, rather, not imply, apply, rather, if you feel that you're gonna have conferences that for the parent might continue to talk and talk and talk and talk, and that you're going to just be kind of you're gonna get off track or you're gonna get off your schedule. Sometimes it is best to schedule conferences back to back without leaving a lot of wiggle room in between because conciseness matters too. We want to stick to the stick to the plot and stick to what we need to cover during these conversations, and we don't want people to get off track, we don't want them to uh direct a conversation where we uh aren't going to address issues. So it's important to make sure that you I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought there for a second, that you are in control of that. My bad. Sorry, something something popped up on my computer while I was talking that threw me off. Oh, back to back, yes, going back to back with conferences. Now, some people like to give a little bit of wiggle room in between so that they do have more time to speak with you to with people. But if you don't want to do that, if you'd rather just be concise and keep to the point, scheduling your conferences back to back is a great way to do that so that you can say, I would love to discuss this further, but I have another parent who's coming in, and you can stand up and say, if you need to contact me, give them your contact info, and you can continue the conversation later that way. So, like I said pri previously, the most important thing is your safety emotionally and physically. And I do bring up physically because unfortunately we do have to worry about that. I think it's also important that the parent feels safe to say things that they feel as well. Now, are you gonna like everything every parent says about you and your classroom? Probably not. And taking criticism from parents is not fun. That is it's not my not my highlight reel highlight reel either. Sorry, I'm losing my my train of thought and I'm losing my losing my speaking here for a second anyway. Uh that's not fun either, but they're allowed, and yet it's important to let them be allowed to just say how they think without being defensive. We take it personally, I take it personally a little bit because we invest so much time and effort and energy in our classrooms. But it's important to let parents say what they need to say as long as it's going to be said respectfully, and you can direct the tone of that or the overall direction of that conversation. Things that are important to bring up. What can be done at home to help what is going on at school that matters. A lot will be sometimes dumped on you. Why isn't this being done? Why is it why is why are things this way? Why aren't they doing this, etc. etc.? But it's important to, and you'll see this on the parent-teacher conference snapshot that you're gonna get in the show notes for the free download that you know you can also tell the parent what you feel needs to be done at home as well to help strengthen what you're trying to do in the classroom. If things do get heated, and that's important, this is important to talk about because I think nothing will kill your joy for teaching and put you on the road to burnout faster than having a parent be really upset with you face to face. And it it can happen if you don't feel that a conversation is going to go well with a parent, I think it's important to ask an administrator ahead of time to join you for that particular conference. Because, you know, you don't want to get in a situation where you feel threatened or you feel unsafe. And sometimes having a third party there, having a third adult there, can help smooth things over or help set the tone. What I always like to do when I had conferences as a general ed teacher was relate things to student safety and learning. You know, this is what keeps your child safe emotionally or physically. This is this is what keeps other students in the classroom safe emotionally and physically. And I also would relate it to learning because after all, isn't that why the kids come to school? They're there to learn. So this, I would say things to the effect of this prevents your child from learning. This keeps the other students from learning. And sometimes when things are phrased in that way, safety and learning, the parents will take a step back and it can make them kind of see things in a different light outside of their emotions. But anyway, things can go south. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Sometimes people are not happy and they don't get happier as the conversation goes on. So what do we do? Well, cooler heads prevail. I think it's important. I often call this uh jumping in the pool. You don't want to jump in the pool of their emotions, you want to throw them a lifeline, throw them a floaty, so to speak. So keeping a cooler head and staying calm and not raising your voice or getting pulled into the frenzy is important. Because sometimes they're looking for that chance to get you hyped up too. Unfortunately, that is the case. But if you stay calm, if you stay in control of your emotions, even if you don't feel the way on the outside, I know it's hard, that can make a big difference. Don't join in the crazy, do not jump in the pool. Offer solutions. We're not just there to criticize the child. That's not the point of a conference at all. We're looking for solutions to issues, things that we can do for the child to be successful. And I honestly truly believe that if a conversation is getting disrespectful or you do not feel safe, you should end the conference. You should end the conversation and say, unfortunately, I don't believe we're gonna be able to continue this conversation. It doesn't feel like this is a this is a safe place to discuss this for both of us. I can either call an administrator or we can discuss this at a different time. Because your feelings matter, the child matters. And the if the climate is not one that's gonna be conducive to that, then it's time to wrap it up. Okay, so something else you're gonna get in the uh free download that is in the show notes. I have some quick response reminders. So if something comes up during a conference and you don't know what to say, I have some things for you. Now, can you read them off the page, verbatim? Probably not, but it will help direct your thinking or direct your thoughts. So when you are kind of caught off guard, you have something that you can say to get you back on track or keep the conversation going. I also have on this page, it's just a nice little thing you can print out quickly and just have it beside of you, some de-escalation and boundary setting statements. So if the parent starts to get a little upset and maybe things start to be said that are not nice and hurtful towards you, there's a way that you can stay in control as the adult. And not that the parent is an adult too, but to just calmly and respectfully redirect the feelings and the emotions so that the conversation stays on task, or if necessary, if you feel like it you need to end, it needs to end. Because we are there to help kids learn, we're there to help kids be successful. And if we can't have conversations with parents about moving things forward, then we're losing an important part of education. Because honestly, we I know there's a lot of stuff, this is going a little off topic with artificial intelligence and can computers just teach the kids, and how are we gonna need kids? I mean not need kids, how are we gonna need teachers if we've got the um the technology to just teach the kids for us? But teaching and education is all about the humanities, and it's all about personal connection, and that's what makes conferences so important, is that it is a chance for us to connect as people, as adults, as human beings, and discuss and to discuss the most important thing in that parent's life, which is their child. So those are some things to help you get through parent-teacher conferences. In the show notes, you can download your parent-teacher conference snapshot that you can fill out for your students that you'll be meeting with, as well as some sentence statements that you can use to help you get through the tough moments of your conferences. But remember, your purpose in the classroom exceeds anything that you can dream of, and that the parents and students need to hear your input so that you can help move things forward. That's all for this episode of the next chapter for teachers podcast. If you like what you've heard, be sure to rate, subscribe, and leave a review. Join us next time when we turn the page in the future of the project. Until then, remember to be different, but more importantly, be the difference. And I'll see you in the next chapter.